A Couple Things On Awkard

Nick Cannon will see you out there.  Half time is game time.

I've introduced this list of conversation boosters to a bunch of people, so I thought I should just document them on here.  I use them on a daily basis - you should too.

1. At a certain point during a conversation (left up to you to choose) just tell the other person to "shut up".  This is not the valley girl style of shut up, but more of a direct "SHUT. UP."  I would have to say this is most effective right after the other person greets you or asks you what's up...  (possibly followed up by a "no seriously, you need to shut up.")

2. Use the phrase "no pun intended" after sentences without puns in them.  This always throws the other person off and you immediately gain control of the conversation.

[Example]
You: "Man, that lunch was delicious... no pun intended."
Other person: "Ummm, what?"
You: "SHUT. UP."

3. Any time anyone is talking about any movies, especially asking you about movies or talking about newly released movies, always bring up the movie "Drumline."  Partially because almost EVERYONE has seen this movie, partially because they obviously aren't talking about Drumline, and partially because everyone will always follow your opinion about Drumline - if you say you thought it was good, everyone else will agree, more or less; if you say it sucked, everyone will agree that it was terrible.  You immediately control the movie conversation.

[Example]
That Guy: "Hey, so you guys know of any good movies out?"
You: "What about Drumline?"
That Guy: "Isn't that from like 2001?"
You: "Well, I don't know about that, but it was awesome!"
That Guy: "Yeah, that movie was sweet.  Nick Cannon, right?"

4. When you are leaving a group of people or saying goodbye to anyone in general, always say "See you tomorrow!"  This also works in text messages, instant messages, and especially at places like the doctor's office or the barber.  People never know why they will see you tomorrow, but THEY WILL BE WATCHING FOR YOU!  You can mix it up with "See you tonight!" or "See you in a couple hours!"  Try it sometime - it's pretty fun.  Just ask Brad Herschler...

[Example]
You: "So it was nice meeting you."
Random Girl: "Yeah, maybe we'll run into each other at Walmart again sometime, haha."
You: "Yeah, maybe.  (walking away) See you tomorrow!"
Random Girl: "Ummmm..." (calls police)

These things are very fun and always add a little bit extra to any conversation.  Feel free to come up with your own.  Just never let the conversation get boring...

Elvis Presley + Ben Gibbard = Jay Cutler

So I decided to update the name of this blog to World Wide Wilson.  I think that's a better summary of what I'm trying to accomplish here.  On to my new post...

It looks like I'm going to finish 3rd in the only Fantasy Baseball league that I ended up caring about.  I do this every year - join 3 or 4 fantasy baseball leagues and then forget about all but one of them.  I was in first for a good portion of the first half of the season, but ended up giving it up to a guy who somehow has an All-Star team.  I'm now in two different Fantasy Football leagues - one on ESPN and one on Yahoo.  I feel like my ESPN team is better, but who knows, maybe I'll accidentally forget about it.

Some thoughts from the Bears game (I was going to do a quarter by quarter analysis, but I was at my grandparents' house where there is no world wide web for world wide wilson):

• It's a good thing in my mind that even when the Bears were down 13-0, having problems moving the ball and scoring points, and seemingly affected by the Seattle crowd - I never really doubted that they were going to win.  Why?  Because I could tell that they had a good game plan.  This is where this game differed completely from the Illinois game yesterday (see "no game plan" below).  Maybe the Fighting Illini could hire one of the Bears coordinators as head coach?
• One thing I like: when no-name guys step up and make plays.  The Bears had this last week with Johnny Knox, and they had it again this week with most of their defense.  If you told me last year that we would have Nick Roach, Jamar Williams, Zack Bowman, Al Afalava, and Hunter Hillenmeyer playing significant time, I would have probably started silently weeping on the spot.  Today, these guys combined for 23 tackles (21 solo), 4 passes defended, and 2 QB hits.  Moneybags.
• One thing I don't like: the facemask call.  I know, I know - it's necessary.  You don't want players to start using the opponent's facemask as their personal steering wheel, but when Seattle gains 30 yards in one drive on two good defensive plays, it just makes me a little cheesed off, as the British would say (not that they have anything to say about football).
• This game felt more like the Chicago Bears against the Seattle Highlighters...
  
• Why do you put Garrett Wolfe in the game when we're down by a point in the fourth quarter?  We put him in for 3 rushes, he gains 8 yards and we punt.  Really?
• The Seahawks would have won the game if their defensive backs hadn't run into each other on the last two plays the Bears ran.  Maybe they could work on that in practice?  Run straight at each other really fast and then miss.  If they do that drill this past week, they win the game - guaranteed.

Next post, I'll summarize the Cubs season and my thoughts on other Cubs things.