Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Couple Things On Awkard

Nick Cannon will see you out there.  Half time is game time.

I've introduced this list of conversation boosters to a bunch of people, so I thought I should just document them on here.  I use them on a daily basis - you should too.

1. At a certain point during a conversation (left up to you to choose) just tell the other person to "shut up".  This is not the valley girl style of shut up, but more of a direct "SHUT. UP."  I would have to say this is most effective right after the other person greets you or asks you what's up...  (possibly followed up by a "no seriously, you need to shut up.")

2. Use the phrase "no pun intended" after sentences without puns in them.  This always throws the other person off and you immediately gain control of the conversation.
You: "Man, that lunch was delicious... no pun intended."
Other person: "Ummm, what?"
You: "SHUT. UP."

3. Any time anyone is talking about any movies, especially asking you about movies or talking about newly released movies, always bring up the movie "Drumline."  Partially because almost EVERYONE has seen this movie, partially because they obviously aren't talking about Drumline, and partially because everyone will always follow your opinion about Drumline - if you say you thought it was good, everyone else will agree, more or less; if you say it sucked, everyone will agree that it was terrible.  You immediately control the movie conversation.
That Guy: "Hey, so you guys know of any good movies out?"
You: "What about Drumline?"
That Guy: "Isn't that from like 2001?"
You: "Well, I don't know about that, but it was awesome!"
That Guy: "Yeah, that movie was sweet.  Nick Cannon, right?"

4. When you are leaving a group of people or saying goodbye to anyone in general, always say "See you tomorrow!"  This also works in text messages, instant messages, and especially at places like the doctor's office or the barber.  People never know why they will see you tomorrow, but THEY WILL BE WATCHING FOR YOU!  You can mix it up with "See you tonight!" or "See you in a couple hours!"  Try it sometime - it's pretty fun.  Just ask Brad Herschler...
You: "So it was nice meeting you."
Random Girl: "Yeah, maybe we'll run into each other at Walmart again sometime, haha."
You: "Yeah, maybe.  (walking away) See you tomorrow!"
Random Girl: "Ummmm..." (calls police)

These things are very fun and always add a little bit extra to any conversation.  Feel free to come up with your own.  Just never let the conversation get boring...