Monday, November 23, 2009

Top Songs?

I wonder when the quality of songs on the Billboard Top 100 will hit rock bottom?
If it's not right now, then I don't want to hear it when it is...

Ridiculous Lyrics in Popular Songs

I know, I know... I've already done a blog post about music.  I've already torn that awesome Miley Cyrus song to shreds.  I've already pointed out that a party in Nashville would still be a "Party in the USA."  But listening to the radio (which I rarely do for this very purpose) the past couple days has made me realize that the quality of music to which we are listening currently is awful.  Now, if you're one of those "I only listen to Bob Dylan and Iron and Wine" types and scorn anything remotely popular, I would usually call you a bigot and knock the overpriced Starbucks drink out of your indie hand.  But at this point I applaud your bike-riding, liberal view of music - because most everything good is NOT on the radio.  On to the analysis...

Song: Replay
Artist: Iyaz
Lyric: "I can be your melody.  Oh girl, I could write you a symphony."
Comment: There is no. possible. way. that this guy could write a symphony.  That lyric right there lets me know that he knows nothing about music whatsoever.  He probably doesn't even know what a real instrument sounds like unless it's loaded into his synthesizer.  I'd love to see a "symphony-off" between this guy and Mozart.  I'm pretty sure Mozart could write better rap songs too.

Song: Fireflies
Artist: Owl City
Lyric: "Cuz they'd fill the open air, and leave teardrops everywhere"
Comment: Although I do like this song and think that Owl City is pretty talented, there are some really strange lyrics in this song.  This is just the one that I picked to discuss... I don't even know where to start.  I guess not only are most kids emo these days, even the lightning bugs are.  Stop Crying!!  The other lyrics that bother me are - "cuz i know they all do drugs, those ten thousand lightning bugs, but i don't know where they get their narcotics from." and "leave my door open for some crack. when you feel like such an insomniac. i never tire of taking speed. i'm too awake to fall asleep."  I don't think that sends the right message to kids.

Song: You Belong with Me
Artist: Taylor Swift
Lyric: "You belong with me!"
Comment:  This isn't that ridiculous of a lyric, but she says it 10 times during this song.  Alright we get it, Taylor, he supposedly belongs with you.  Maybe if you weren't so thug, he'd reconsider.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, see here - Thug Story.

Song: Sweet Dreams
Artist: Beyonce
Lyric: "Not even death can make us part"
Comment: Yes, it can.

Artist: Dorrough (who?)
Lyric: "Grand Marquis paint job grape jelly, R triple BC big black box Chevy."
Comment: I'm not sure if Dorrough (who?) thinks he's breaking new ground by rapping about his car, but i'm pretty sure that he is breaking new ground by rapping about a Grand Marquis.  Listen D-O-double-R, I drive a Grand Marquis - it's not pimp... even with a grape jelly paint job.  And can someone help me out with the second half of the lyric, because I have no idea what that means.  This song is terrible... catchy, but terrible.  Prediction: one hit "wonder."

Song: any song out there
Artist: Lady Gaga
Comment: Lady Gaga is a complete lunatic (that picture is from her VMA performance).  Try to watch any 15 straight seconds of this video - Bad Romance - without getting utterly creeped out.  This is like bad 80s music combined with a strange European nightmare.  People like Lady Gaga should really be quarantined... like lepers, and then anyone who wants to interact with her could go there at their own risk.  Oh, and her lyrics?  Just as strange.

Song: Tik Tok
Artist: Ke$ha
Lyric: "Now the dudes are linin' up cuz they hear we got swagger.  But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger."
Comment: Mick Jagger.  Really?  Mick Jagger?  I understand you had to rhyme with swagger, but c'mon!  He wasn't even that good looking in 1968.  How about "...they hear we're legit.  but we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Brad Pitt."  I guess that wouldn't have gotten Ke$ha in my blog, though, would it?  Congrats, Ke$ha!  You did it!

I think that's all for now.  I could go on and on about these terrible songs.  Where are the days of good rock and roll?  Or even the days of good 90s music.  When we look back on the 2000s, what are we going to remember?  Lady Gaga?  Please, no.  I weep for this generation...

P.S. - congrats to myself on a successful two months on this blog.  there have been some ups and downs, but i've stuck by myself the whole way.  thanks to you readers too!!  haha, don't forget to tell your friends about World Wide Wilson