A Couple Things On Awkard

Nick Cannon will see you out there.  Half time is game time.

I've introduced this list of conversation boosters to a bunch of people, so I thought I should just document them on here.  I use them on a daily basis - you should too.

1. At a certain point during a conversation (left up to you to choose) just tell the other person to "shut up".  This is not the valley girl style of shut up, but more of a direct "SHUT. UP."  I would have to say this is most effective right after the other person greets you or asks you what's up...  (possibly followed up by a "no seriously, you need to shut up.")

2. Use the phrase "no pun intended" after sentences without puns in them.  This always throws the other person off and you immediately gain control of the conversation.

[Example]
You: "Man, that lunch was delicious... no pun intended."
Other person: "Ummm, what?"
You: "SHUT. UP."

3. Any time anyone is talking about any movies, especially asking you about movies or talking about newly released movies, always bring up the movie "Drumline."  Partially because almost EVERYONE has seen this movie, partially because they obviously aren't talking about Drumline, and partially because everyone will always follow your opinion about Drumline - if you say you thought it was good, everyone else will agree, more or less; if you say it sucked, everyone will agree that it was terrible.  You immediately control the movie conversation.

[Example]
That Guy: "Hey, so you guys know of any good movies out?"
You: "What about Drumline?"
That Guy: "Isn't that from like 2001?"
You: "Well, I don't know about that, but it was awesome!"
That Guy: "Yeah, that movie was sweet.  Nick Cannon, right?"

4. When you are leaving a group of people or saying goodbye to anyone in general, always say "See you tomorrow!"  This also works in text messages, instant messages, and especially at places like the doctor's office or the barber.  People never know why they will see you tomorrow, but THEY WILL BE WATCHING FOR YOU!  You can mix it up with "See you tonight!" or "See you in a couple hours!"  Try it sometime - it's pretty fun.  Just ask Brad Herschler...

[Example]
You: "So it was nice meeting you."
Random Girl: "Yeah, maybe we'll run into each other at Walmart again sometime, haha."
You: "Yeah, maybe.  (walking away) See you tomorrow!"
Random Girl: "Ummmm..." (calls police)

These things are very fun and always add a little bit extra to any conversation.  Feel free to come up with your own.  Just never let the conversation get boring...

Elvis Presley + Ben Gibbard = Jay Cutler

So I decided to update the name of this blog to World Wide Wilson.  I think that's a better summary of what I'm trying to accomplish here.  On to my new post...

It looks like I'm going to finish 3rd in the only Fantasy Baseball league that I ended up caring about.  I do this every year - join 3 or 4 fantasy baseball leagues and then forget about all but one of them.  I was in first for a good portion of the first half of the season, but ended up giving it up to a guy who somehow has an All-Star team.  I'm now in two different Fantasy Football leagues - one on ESPN and one on Yahoo.  I feel like my ESPN team is better, but who knows, maybe I'll accidentally forget about it.

Some thoughts from the Bears game (I was going to do a quarter by quarter analysis, but I was at my grandparents' house where there is no world wide web for world wide wilson):

• It's a good thing in my mind that even when the Bears were down 13-0, having problems moving the ball and scoring points, and seemingly affected by the Seattle crowd - I never really doubted that they were going to win.  Why?  Because I could tell that they had a good game plan.  This is where this game differed completely from the Illinois game yesterday (see "no game plan" below).  Maybe the Fighting Illini could hire one of the Bears coordinators as head coach?
• One thing I like: when no-name guys step up and make plays.  The Bears had this last week with Johnny Knox, and they had it again this week with most of their defense.  If you told me last year that we would have Nick Roach, Jamar Williams, Zack Bowman, Al Afalava, and Hunter Hillenmeyer playing significant time, I would have probably started silently weeping on the spot.  Today, these guys combined for 23 tackles (21 solo), 4 passes defended, and 2 QB hits.  Moneybags.
• One thing I don't like: the facemask call.  I know, I know - it's necessary.  You don't want players to start using the opponent's facemask as their personal steering wheel, but when Seattle gains 30 yards in one drive on two good defensive plays, it just makes me a little cheesed off, as the British would say (not that they have anything to say about football).
• This game felt more like the Chicago Bears against the Seattle Highlighters...
  
• Why do you put Garrett Wolfe in the game when we're down by a point in the fourth quarter?  We put him in for 3 rushes, he gains 8 yards and we punt.  Really?
• The Seahawks would have won the game if their defensive backs hadn't run into each other on the last two plays the Bears ran.  Maybe they could work on that in practice?  Run straight at each other really fast and then miss.  If they do that drill this past week, they win the game - guaranteed.

Next post, I'll summarize the Cubs season and my thoughts on other Cubs things.

Third Time's the Charm

As promised, a third blog entry.

The Owl City concert on Friday night was about what I expected, except for the live cello and violin players.  I missed the opening act because I was too busy eating two Chicago-style hotdogs at Wrigleyville Dog and selling my extra ticket to a middle-aged Asian man.  I bet he enjoyed the show.  I think it was the same guy that I sold a ticket to last time I went to a show at the Metro - real strange.  Anyways, Owl City played all the songs I was hoping for, and sounded pretty good.  The mix of live strings and synth was pretty cool, but unfortunately, the lead singer didn't really interact with the crowd... ever.  He's still a newer performer, and he'll learn his stuff.  I'd give the concert a 6.5/10.  The extra 0.5 was because I was with some pretty fun people, and we had a good time afterwards.

Doh!!!

I was planning on talking about the Illinois football game here too, but I don't really have much to comment on.  I can summarize it like this - Penn State scored more points in the first 11 seconds of their game today than Illinois did all game.  As it turns out, we both lost in a crazy day of college football, but that's besides the point.  I've never seen a team that has looked more confused or unprepared for a game than Illinois has looked in their two primetime games this year (except maybe the first game of the 2003 Bears season when Kordell Stewart made his debut as QB - THEY TRIED RUNNING THE OPTION... IN THE NFL).  In those two games, we've been outscored 67-9.  It comes down to coaching - no game plan.  What game film were they watching?  I can just see the scene: Ron Zook, Juice Williams, Arrelious Benn bring in a couple of the new guys and some of the coordinators to watch game film.  Instead, they pop in the highlight tape from the OSU game two years ago and all ooooh and aaahh as Juice pushes forward for the 4th down conversion.  Then the players leave and all go to FuBar.  You can hear Ron Zook in the background as they all walk away, "Now don't you guys get home too late.  We have to work on looking good tomorrow."  Garbage.  Ohio State didn't have one passing yard in the first half, NOT EVEN ONE!  And they were still up 13.  Time to revamp the coaching staff - I'm not usually one to blame the coaches, but when a team under-performs this badly, something's gotta give.

Tomorrow I might post after each quarter of the Bears game with my thoughts.  Here's my NFL picks for the week:

• @Detroit over Washington (yes, the Lions will finally win!  maybe)
• Green Bay over @St. Louis (the Rams just suck)
• @Minnesota over SF (Mike Singletary tackles Brett Favre on the sideline and draws a 15 yard penalty)
• Atlanta over @New England (big road win for Matt Ryan - ATL is a favorite to go all the way)
• @NY Jets over Tennessee (Tennessee still can't shake the fact that they lost that Super Bowl by a YARD)
• @Philadelphia over KC (I just want to see if there are any dog signs in the stands)
• NY Giants over @Tampa Bay (Eli throws for 4TDs and 320 yards, only because he's on my fantasy team)
• @Baltimore over Cleveland (Joe Flacco is ugly, but he can toss the ball)
• @Houston over Jacksonville (Grossman is Houston's backup!  They must have a good starter)
• New Orleans over Buffalo (possible score of 52-45)
• Chicago over @Seattle (I wish I was at this game - I've always wanted to go to Seattle)
• @San Diego over Miami (Miami is going to know what Tila Tequila felt like)
• Pittsburgh over @Cincinnati (unless they let Chad Ochocinco kick field goals)
• @Oakland over Denver (can we see Jamarcus Russell fight Kyle Orton?  Please?)
• @Arizona over Indianapolis (the Colts won't know what to do with all the extra ball possession)
• @Dallas over Carolina (To-ny Ro-mo, clap clap, clap clap clap...  sorry)

A final word on music - if you're looking for some good, Christian chill music, check out Shane & Shane's [Upstairs] CD.  Solid.  I've had that on all day as I washed my car, picked up dog crap in my back yard, mowed the lawn, and rearranged my room.

Day Two

"As we left the restaurant and stood on the curb waiting for the driver ... [Bradley] said, 'I know it's going to take some time and you have some work to do, but I want to be a Chicago Cub if you want me,'" Hendry said.

"I knew when I left that restaurant that night that he was our guy."

A couple things on my mind today:

•  Milton Bradley has to be one of the players that I've hated the most in a Cubs uniform.  I knew this was going to be the case ever since we signed him.  It didn't help that he had Sammy Sosa's old number and position - maybe Milton should have corked his bat too.  The most surprising thing to me in the Bradley saga wasn't his inability to connect with teammates, his underachieving nature, or his eventual use of the "race/hatred" card to explain things.  It was that he finally explained things and apologized... THRU HIS MOM.
• Some new albums I've been taking into consideration: Taking Back Sunday's New Again album is a decent listen.  Copeland [You Are My Sunshine], Owl City [Ocean Eyes], Ludo [You're Awful, I Love You], and finally Brand New's [Daisy] have been my listens of choice recently.
• I spend seven hours of my week in the car just driving to work.
• This is going to be a much better outlet for my thoughts than Twitter or Facebook because I can write whatever I want.  No one else is watching...
• I will include a review of the Owl City concert and my thoughts about the Illinois football game on Saturday night... until next time.
  

Kicking It Off

I just wanted to start this blog off with a list of things that may be covered in here at some point:
- men's fragrances
- planning an effective baby shower
- shoe styles in Europe
- new shows premiering on Oxygen this fall
- how to use contrasting colors to accent a room
- T.U.L.I.P and Calvinism in general
- IKEA
- the correct usage of the reflexive personal pronoun
- why it's so cool to sketch things
- viewpoints on postmodernism
- picking out the best card at Walgreens
- the ins and outs of electrical connectors
- and finally... what women want.

Please stay tuned if you are interested in any of the previous things.